Do you notice the subtle changes in yourself since you made Jesus the Lord and Master over your life? Do you get intolerant with yourself when you find that you are struggling like Apostle Paul did when he confessed in Romans 7:15 ?
For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.
Romans 7:15-20
This is a real struggle with all Christians. Being a good Christian is simple but hard. C.S. Lewis said, “My prayer is that when I die, all of hell rejoices that I am out of the fight.” If Apostle Paul and C.S. Lewis experienced similar conflict, we should be able to take comfort in it.
Jesus puts up with our petulant, entitled behavior. Transforming us in increments into little Jesus’. If He can be tolerant with us, we should try to understand that if it was as easy as changing ourselves, we would not need Jesus. What we are experiencing is nature versus grace. Chaos against peace. Lies against truth. We need to be patient, when our behavior is counter to the fruit of The Spirit, double down in repentant prayer. Ask for forgiveness and ability to stay aligned with His will.
Most importantly, be patient. David gave clear instructions to wait patiently for the good Lord, He will make all things good in due time.
Wait on the Lord;
Psalm 27:14
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!