What do you get when an effortlessly well-behaved child and the church’s resident troublemaker end up in a fight? A front-row seat to one of God’s favorite teaching moments. In this episode, we recount the rather unexpected honor of breaking up a scuffle between two little girls, let’s call them Ginger and Sage. The differences between the two couldn’t be more obvious on the surface. Ginger is the one you brace yourself for; spirited, disruptive, and marching to her own beat. Sage, on the other hand, is the kind of kid who makes parenting look easy — orderly, proper, and attentive. But God didn’t bring these two together by accident
Ginger called Sage fat as her final jab, and Sage ended up pouting, quite upset. This was not a hard fight to break up. In response to Sage’s complaints about Ginger being mean all the time, I suggested she examine the facts, and if they were untrue, to consider that something might be bothering Ginger. I asked Sage to pray for her and ask her if she was okay. I walked over to Ginger and asked her why she chose to be mean to Sage and whether something was bothering her. Fast-forwarding to the end: they are now reconciled. There will likely be a long road ahead of them, but they will work it out by the grace of God.
What does this have to do with you and me? I wanted both girls to get along. I don’t know them well, they are not my kids, and yet I want harmony and love between them. How much more, then, would God want that for all His children?
“12 This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”
-John 15:12
In the case of Sage and Ginger, I was not biased. I worked with the facts and I was just. Now extend and extrapolate that when applying it to God. When two of His children are resolved to bitterness, He will be just in His judgment. The best thing to do is get it resolved before it escalates to Him. He is watching.
“13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”
-Colossians 3:13
No matter how great the offense against us by our brothers and sisters, it cannot exceed what we did to Jesus. We may think our faults are not as bad as others’, but we are not the final judges — and who am I to say? Err on the side of caution. Forgive them, knowing that God loves the one who hurt you just as much as He loves you. If God in all His might, power, and omniscience can love them, then so must I.
I do have a disclaimer: if I find that a relationship is consistently disruptive, I bow out of it. I forgive and pray for that person, but I walk away after seeking God’s blessing to do so. In my mind, by praying for the one who hurt me, I am heaping fiery coals on their head. It is between them and God now. I did what I was told.
“If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat;
-Proverbs 25:21-22
And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink;
22 For so you will heap coals of fire on his head,
And the Lord will reward you.”
In my mind, the reward is this: I am not separated from God by my anger toward His children. When I put Him first, forgiving others becomes easier. Putting Him first means:
- I trust that He will address the wrongdoer
- I will not do something foolish by taking matters into my own hands
- I am being obedient in loving others
- The burden of hate and grudge has been lifted
He has my back. He always does, even when it doesn’t feel that way in the moment. The secular world says to feel your feelings. I say: pray your feelings, and let God fix it all.
Dear God,
You are awesome. Grant me the ability to see Your overpowering compassion for me, and to share that compassion to the best of my abilities. May my walk today reflect Your goodness and compassion. I pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.