I had a silly quote from the book, “Confessions of a Shopaholic” pop in my head recently.
“And a store always smells good. A store can awaken a lust for things you never even knew you needed. And when your fingers first grasp those shiny, new bags…”.
While we are talking about confessions, I must say that I understand the protagonists’ love of shopping. The smell that envelopes you when you enter Bloomingdales still has some residual effect on me. Many moons ago, I used retail therapy to fill the God-sized hole in my heart. Thankfully, He tapped me on my shoulder and guided me away from the mall and towards the safety of The Word.
I got reminded of this because I happened to be in a big city and walked into a store that grabbed me and tried to draw me into a memory that appears sweet on the surface. What happened? Where did that feeling go? Why was it not as satisfying as I used to think it was? If memory serves me right, it was never a permanent feeling. Things can make you feel good temporarily and are not a solution to the problem. I used shopping to escape reality.
In case you are curious, I did buy some pretty stuff in the store, but I did not succumb to the feeling. The draw was gone, it was replaced by a functional need, it was never going to replace the joy of reading The Bible. The intangible replaced the shiny new object.
‘19 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, 20 but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.‘
-Matthew 6:19
Back in the day, this statement would have been a real buzzkill but now, I can say with confidence that it is clear to me than it was before. When I was floundering, I was trying to feel the way we are meant to, the way God intended for us to feel; loved, protected, safe. When we think that we are in control, we look for ways that are in our power. Unfortunately, nothing was in my power. Without Jesus in me, I will be defeated by this world, prone to bad judgement and down a path of darkness.
‘ 9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.’
2 Corinthians 12:9
‘I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
-Psalm 139:14
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.’
Shopping has its place, but it cannot replace God’s love that fills every fiber of our existence. All I needed to do was be open to seeing how much I am loved. God loves you and me. What a blessing.
Dear Jesus,
You picked me up from darkness and set me up in truth and light. Teach me to never take your sacrifice for granted. Your blood cleansed me and made me whole. May I show gratitude in every thought that enters my mind and every word that leaves my lips today. All glory be Yours, now and always. Amen.